Archive for October, 2011

I found the first girl I liked after almost a year of being somehow uninterested in relationships. I met her at the office as a client and my goodness everything went so darned smooth and well that we were chatting like we’ve known each other for years the next day. Fucking great right?

She had a boyfriend, a childhood sweetheart. But he was in the army, and was in another state. Fucking perfect isn’t it? It was like fucking destiny decided to throw this old dog a bone.

Everything was fucking set. A few days later, she invited me to have dinner and of course I jumped in and went with her. Everything seemed smooth and perfect. It was just in the mall’s foodcourt, no biggie. It wasn’t a date or anything, but still it was just me and her and we had a nice discussion so it was as good to me as it could be.

She dropped me off after that dinner, I went back to my room so high in fucking happiness that I could almost throw up everything I just ate. I couldn’t sleep that night. I had so many plans. I was in love…

The morning after, I texted her the usual good morning and something was off. She didn’t text back right away and when she did, it was a simple good morning, unlike the usual thing with a follow up question and a smiley. I ignored it. Maybe she just woke up in the wrong side of the bed. No biggie right?So I just wished her a nice day and hoped that we could talk again the evening after work.

The evening after…..No reply to my texts…..She was online on chat but didn’t respond…..Days went on without anything, not even a single damn letter of the fucking english alphabet…..

I was going crazy. Did I say something wrong? Did I do something wrong? I played the entire event over and over in my head for days. What could I have said or done for her to suddenly go cold? I thought and thought and thought but there really was nothing.

NO FUCKING THING. HONEST. If you don’t believe me, FUCK YOU TOO…..

Anyways…..

I quit weed months ago but I couldn’t stop being paranoid that I begged my cousin to pick me up, drive me around, and score me some weed…..

As a last ditch effort, I sent her a long email with all of my purest feelings with the best words I can find. Still nothing…..

It’s been two weeks now. She already responded to me a few days ago, apologizing for being too busy with family affairs. After that single message, I never heard from her again. What went fucking wrong?!

I’m hurt. Yes, I’m a sorry loser so shut up motherfucker and read!

I’ll never fucking trust a woman again. At least not as easy as I did with her. I was too fucking careless.

Maybe that was my damn mistake. Was she just messing with me? I wouldn’t fucking know, but I wish I knew.

I wish I had all the fucking answers. As you can see, I haven’t posted here for a long time, which basically means that I have kept my anger within manageable levels but now, I’m just so fucking hurt and fucking angry.

To all you fuckers out there I said it once and I’m gonna say it again:

DON’T FUCKING GET INTO MY LIFE IF YOU’RE GONNA SUDDENLY CHECK OUT BITCH!